Cairo, Egypt
“Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.”
— Paul Tillich, German Philosopher
For most of the past three years, I have traveled the world on my own and, yes, some days I wake up dreading another day alone. I am a social person. I miss my family and friends at home, and I love traveling as a team. So why do I keep traveling the world alone?
Nicosia, Cyprus
Island of Lesvos, Greece
To begin with, there is simple math. I don’t have enough peripatetic people in my life to have a travel partner more than occasionally.
And while I don’t think I would ever turn down an offer to have a travel buddy, I also love traveling alone. When I can’t rely on easy companionship (or an annoying travel partner), I have a different experience. In addition to enjoying the art and museums and food, I am more likely to see the messier world, the one that most people live everyday. It’s easier to connect with local people, visit places most travelers don’t see, and slow down.
Siem Reap, Cambodia
Sukhothai, Thailand
Most of the people in the world are good and they lead hard lives. Meeting a few of them has given me the sense that I am part of a family of 7 billion people and, when I think of myself that way, I love what happens. I am more comfortable with people I don’t understand. People seem to be looking out for me. I don’t worry about vendors “ripping me off” — I know they are just trying to feed their kids. And for every tip I have left in a country that “isn’t a tipping culture,” I have received discounts I didn’t ask for, a lot of smiles I didn’t deserve, and a long list of kind gestures.
New Iberia, Louisiana
And there’s another important reason to travel alone.
Yerevan, Armenia
When we are alone, we have to confront the truth about who we are. Like most privileged Americans, I have had a self-image that has been artificially propped up with titles (administrative law judge), roles (competent single mother) and illusions (I worked hard so I deserve it). Traveling alone challenges our reliance on social status and nice clothes to compensate for our insecurities. I am reminded every day that I didn’t earn it so much as I was born to it — and the test of who I am is not related to the privileges I inherited, but how I deploy my privileges. Simply stated, being alone in the big world strips away a lot of the stuff that fluffs up our American egos.
Battambang, Cambodia
Nafplio, Greece
Petra, Jordan
Fantan, Armenia
For these reasons and contrary to my expectation, traveling alone has actually made me more insecure. Sometimes I am downright disoriented. Why would I do that to myself? Why would anyone? I dunno. Maybe it’s like tearing out a nicely-painted wall to cut out the dry rot. And, for now at least, existential insecurity is the price of freedom and feeling a connection to something bigger.
One of these days, I will trade in my freedom for the comforts of my California home. In the meantime, I will thank my lucky stars for the gifts of my travels, whether I am alone or with people who share my passion for learning about the world.
Athens, Greece
Camino Milagro 
Kim, I really see you as a sage. Keep sharing with us, please!
Aw shucks! Thank you….
“This loneliness won’t leave me alone.” I love the way you write, and how you always write with such deep love and respect for the people and places you describe. You are a citizen of the wide, wide world, open to to a realities that are pregnant with possibility. It is a good way of being human.
Thank you for your poetic response, Charles! When I picked out those photos, I realized how much each one of them touched me in some way (especially that group at the bottom of the page — still my “Greekish” refugee family).
Once again a lovely piece by you, dear Kim, who is so much more grown up than I will ever be!
Miss you but love reading of your adventures ❤️
Thanks so much Patty. Hope to see you while I am in town. Will send you a text.
Thank you Kim as I set out with living and traveling alone in Mexico…..I really appreciate your experience and insights….and if you are ever in Mexico, let’s have coffee ! Blessings on your journeys.
I will be in Mexico in March and April — perhaps we can meet up! I’ll send you a text.
Excellent article. You are fortunate to have time and $ to travel and we are fortunate to share your insights and experiences. Keep on trekking, Christine
Sent from my iPad
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I am indeed fortunate in so many ways!
Great post! Travelling alone can be hard work but you sound like you have your groove. Thank you for the inspiration!
Thanks for dropping by. Sometimes I have my groove……other times not so much
This piece is the most intimate you’ve written. It”s quite lovely.
i believe one can be lonely at home or abroad. You can be lonely in a crowd, with one or a handful “new” people you’ve just run into by chance here or there, with friends and even with family, I believe being lonely is a state of mind more than anything else. Maybe traveling just brings every individual’s existential loneliness closer to the foreground of consciousness. That’s been my experience.
I love your Maxine quote- it’s so “her”.
i also laughed good and hard when you talked about slowing down. That I’ll believe that when I see it.
Yeah the mom quote is the best. She had a lot of good ones.
I have nothing pithy so say. You’re mother said it all. 🙂 Travel on!
LOL she was so demure most of the time but then she would come up with amazing one-liners!
Hi Kim! I always read your posts from home and imagine you far away, envious of your paths. This time I’m reading your insights from the Mekong Delta, where Larry and I are traveling on a bike tour, just the two of us and our guide (it would be impossible without a local guide), and soon a couple of friends will join us. Bicycling is such an intimate way to see the world, and it reminds me of some of your travels, being open to everyone, to nature, to the weather, and eager to observe the differences among us. I’ve traveled alone quite a lot, too, and have always loved it. But yes, it can have its painful moments. With your blog, it’s clear you have lots of support in those lonely moments from those of us following you, as we all love to learn what you’ve discovered, what you’ve noticed, and what you’ve chosen to photograph to illustrate your awakenings. Bon voyage!
What a wonderful adventure in Viet Nam. I hope you are going to post photos and thoughts. And I wish I were as fit as you are! Each way of moving around in the world has its particular advantages and biking gets you so close to everything. Enjoy! Love
I’m not that much of a traveller… reading your blog reminds me of times I’ve been abroad, and what was important about those trips. And it invariably informs me about the PEOPLE wherever you go. That’s what’s special about how you see the world as you traverse it.
Going through my photos to find good ones of people I had met was very emotional for me. You get to know someone for an hour, a day, a couple of weeks and you get more attached than you expect.
What a beautiful post,:) ❤
Thanks very much!
I’ve traveler a lot but ways with buddies which I can easily find. I’m planning a trip of my own end of May. Wanna try it. .
You will love it….
I really enjoyed the small parts of your journeys you shared, such an admiring and inspiring path! I’ve just bought myself a few plane tickets without a traveling buddy. Wish me luck! Happy trails !
You will have an amazing experience. If you feel like it, let me know how it goes!
Will do! My first trip is San Diego then Denver!
That funny quote at the end, after such an insightful and serious article, is just perfect! 🙂
🙂
Great post but your Mum’s saying is the best 🙂
Wonderful post for this week. Thanks for joining in the fun.
That was beautifully written
Thanks ….I am enjoying your posts a lot